transform Your Life too!
I dropped 103 pounds of pain in 15 short months by loving myself to do something different, learning self-compassion, and doing the innercise necessary to turn my “shoulds” into “musts”.
Below, you’ll find vlogs, blogs, and journal snippets of my journey. My hope is that you are deeply inspired to take the action necessary to turn your life into the most wondrous experience it can be. You’ve got this; I believe in you!
My parents were drug addicts and alcoholics in my childhood and still have their struggles to this day. I saw the shortcomings of utilizing drugs and alcohol as coping mechanisms for dealing with unpleasant experiences and emotions. However, not being taught healthy boundaries or positive coping strategies, I resorted to food; sugar, specifically, to take the edge off unpleasantness. I would make a batch of raw cookie dough and eat it until I felt sick to my stomach.
I knew better intrinsically as I earned my Bachelor’s Degree in Kinesiology with a Minor in Nutrition and held a Certified Personal Trainer credential, but I didn’t give a shit about myself enough to bother entertaining any kind of positive change. I had myself convinced that a better quality of life wasn’t attainable for me.
I made some poor choices regarding relationships, had my first child when I was barely an adult (just shy of19), and had written myself off as a loss at a young age.
I put everyone’s needs before my own as a people pleaser looking desperately to find worth and value somewhere as I just couldn’t find it within myself. My basic needs, even taking a shower, brushing my teeth or brushing my hair were not on my to-do list. I was not a priority and my needs didn’t even come last, they didn’t come at all.
My second marriage was far healthier than the first, but not without baggage brought into it by both of us. I had two more children and was a stay at home mom to two kids who were 17 months apart both of which had colic. I ate to swallow my loneliness with being at home alone with small children who couldn’t hold a conversation. I ate to mask the disappointment of having no disposable income to go places or do fun things. I ate to deal with the fact that I felt like my husband wasn’t physically attracted to me. Depression quickly set in and the pounds piled on.
I wanted to hide. I didn’t want to be seen, but most importantly, I didn’t want to get hurt anymore. I subconsciously put on the weight as a sort of “life-preserver” to “blend in” and keep people at a distance; even people I dearly loved and cared for.
Despite all the time and money I spent on my personal development going to retreats, seminars, webinars, purchasing books, etc., I still just couldn’t get my ass in gear. I had many suicidal ideations over the years, on several different kinds of anti-depressants, and had even been admitted to a hospital on a three day hold, however, it was October 24th, 2017 that I was finally serious about taking action on the suicidal thoughts.
I was ready to take my life when a dear friend happened to reach out at just the right time and convince me that I had worth, value, and suicide was not the answer. She shared her own struggles and triumph. She loved and accepted me when I felt most unloveable and worthless. She gave me hope.
I immediately changed my nutrition to reduce sugar and carbohydrate intake as those were my most frequent go-to’s for food abuse. I enrolled in several retreats, classes, and certifications that forced me to look internally and do the “innercise” necessary to take my life back. In no time, it was very clear that I did not love myself. I had no idea where to even start or what it meant for the longest time, so I started to use the mantra “I love myself enough to do something different” even if it felt like bullshit at the beginning and it began to reshape not only my mind, but my body, attitude, and energy.
I started to consume positive material (books, podcasts, YouTube videos, etc.) on a daily basis. I surrounded myself with positive people. I ate nutritious foods. I moved my body in ways that were exciting which happened to be heavy lifting and walking at an incline or running. I ultimately released 103 pounds of emotional and physical weight in 15 months. I shed over 10 feet of physical size off of my body with 124″ gone head to toe! I reduced my body fat percentage from 55% to 17%.
I said “no, thank you” to people, places, situations, jobs, etc. that stole my joy. I put myself at the top of my priority list and set healthy boundaries. I established my self-worth, self-esteem, and self-love to levels I wasn’t willing to reduce under any circumstance. I found my explosive joy and so can you!
The following information is a bird’s eye view into my transformation hoping to educate, motivate, and inspire you to take the action you need to love yourself, take care of yourself, and achieve your wildest dreams!
My first run in 6-8 weeks since I started my journey. It starts with small steps that add up to big change! I was well over 200 pounds running 5k’s while my kids were at parkour class.
Back when running a 5k at over 200 pounds burned about 800 calories! I wish these days! I’d be lucky to burn 300 calories now! It’s still good for the mind, body, and spirit to move your body and be in joy as much as humanly possible 🙂
I was running when my son was at parkour class multiple days a week. I made it a must to find opportunities to exercise even if it wasn’t at a gym. Get creative, my friends! Burn that stored energy that doesn’t serve you anymore!
Get out there, get moving, do something that makes you feel good and keep up the consistency!
Not every day is sunshine, rainbows, and butterflies. Emotional crap can sure drag you down. I was buying and selling storage units for a living when this video was filmed. I misspoke in the video. I was afraid of financial failure at the time. I came to learn through my healing journey that the heavier life felt, the more stupid shit I ate and the less I moved by body. The heaviness in my life resulted in my mind and body feeling heavy as well. I chose to move even if it wasn’t at my full potential to keep the momentum and consistency. Not performing my best ate away at my mental health on those days, but I made sure to engage in things that brought me joy and exposed myself to positive people and reading materials to pick my energy back up as soon as I was able to.
Got the 5k, but barely; it was a struggle! Do what you can with the energy you have even if it is rough going. Every step you take is one step closer to your goals even if it isn’t as fast as you’d like.
5.55 miles in despite a stressful day – many stressful days in a row. Get out there and get moving!
From a solo 5k to a challenging 4 mile hike with a friend. Feeling good, getting the heart rate up. Do something to stay active – walk, lift weights, body weight exercises, etc. Anything to bring you joy – move your body for just 5 minutes!
W T F?!? RANT!
The aftermath of my week of running just shy of 30 miles. The struggle is real. I now use this scenario to educate and inspire my clients. It certainly sucked at the time, but it gave me invaluable insight on what heart rate range to utilize to optimize fat burn. It’s certainly not 150+ bpm!
Ignore the reference to the website – it’s old.
Recovery in mind, body & spirit. Lessons learned from my week of running almost 30 miles. Crash and burn week 🙁
Ignore the reference to the website – it’s old.
Using a 20# weighted vest to increase resistance, heart rate, and calorie burn for my 5k walk today.
Get out there, get moving, challenge yourself!
Ignore the reference to the website – it’s old.
Loss of 6 pounds last week and on track to be under 200 pounds in one-derland by Sunday!
It’s all about being vulnerable. Sometimes life doesn’t play fair and sometimes you go back to old patterns. Staying away from sugar, I overindulged in sugar free chocolate chips instead and earned myself a belly ache 🙁
I tried to damage myself, but mitigated the damage and rebounded as soon as I could. Self-sabotage is real and we’ve got to realize what we are doing before we jump of the deep end.
What’s keeping you from your goals and what baby step can you take right now that will help you create momentum?
Ignore the reference to the website – it’s old.
NSV – Non-Scale Victory!
Skinny jeans not so skinny and I need a belt!
It’s good to get dressed up every now and then to feel better about yourself even if you’re bigger than you’d like to be.
I use herbs and natural supplements for mood enhancement. Some include St. John’s Wart, Ashwaghanda, 5-HTP, Vitamin D, Vitamin B12, etc.
Some days you just have to go with the flow even if it’s confusing. Some days you just need to give yourself permission to be happy. Maybe we just be happy because we can?! We are works in progress, let’s enjoy the ride! Let’s be open to receive the happiness when it comes!
I did it, I did it, I did it!!! Breaking out of the 200’s and into “One”derland!!!!
14 Weeks of Keto = loss of 21.6 pounds = broke out of the 200’s!!!! Down 25 inches head to toe! Reduced body fat percentage by 5.64%!
2/28/15 was the last time I was under 200 pounds. Before that it was about May of 2014 since I was under 200 pounds at 185 at my college graduation.
Some days are great, some days suck. Reach out to your support system as soon as you can if you fall down. You have many people who love you and want to see you win. I am one of them! Get up as soon as you fall and everything will fall into place!
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Stay awesome, Melanie – The Cheeky Cheetah